I am still chuckling from an occurrence at the latest Networking Phoenix Event, which was, by the way, phenominally attended, and we recommend that everyone go to Gelle's events that are held quarterly...1,000 to 1500 attendees was the estimate.
But nonetheless, I met a man at the networking event, who read the back of my business card as I handed it to him. It states that ISD is a unique referral partner, because we will always immediately return referrals to our referral partners of equal kind, size, and quality. As this man read my card, his face turned sour, and he placed my business card back into my shirt pocket. He told me that this is not how referral generation works. He lectured me on how the universe should be trusted to pay me back in the form of good Karma for the referrals, and that it was against his New Age philosophy to ruin the "true ways of the universe" by giving me referrals. And additionally, based on this premise, that I should immediately give him all the referrals I had in our 18,000 business database, or I would be guilty of another breach in the universe due to my selfishness for not providing these referrals to him freely without anything in return for them. At this juncture, I wasn't sure whether I should laugh out loud, gracefully move on into the jostling crowd, or proceed to enlighten him that we are all part of the universe, and as such, he and I are both correct in a way...that the good Karma is worked through himself and myself, and that as responsible members of the Universe, it is within our control to give referrals back and forth to one another..."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"). This is, in fact, what creates good Karma (aka you reap what you sow). Meanwhile, my partner, who has a great sense of humor merely asked, "So when you go into the retail store, and fill up your cart with merchandise, you merely tell the store owner that the Universe full of good Karma will reward you manyfold for your kindness in donating this merchandise that came at a price of money, and labor to you, the store owner...so, Ms. Store Owner, thanks so much for your time, don't bother calling the police, and good day to you. I am on my way home now with this hot merchandise. :)."
At this, we all had a good chuckle, and the tension was released, but the principle is still very poignant...taking referrals without giving in return is akin to taking merchandise without paying for it. Even if the store owner lets the beggar take the merchandise once or twice in the name of donating to a good cause, at some point, those referrals will be stopped and the relationship will end. So, remember, long term referral relationships can only be created using a win-win strategy of equal referral distribution. In some cases, bartering and creating non-referral value in return for referrals can be created, such as providing professional services or money in exchange for referrals as discussed in the previous blog. But either way, a quantifiable and measurable relationship between two parties must be maintained if the true principle of the universe is to be obeyed...the universal principle of long term win-win relationships.
Lest you think I am belaboring the issue, I would like to post an e-mail that ISD received a few months ago. I have not met this man, but one of our consultants sent him an e-mail. This man is in management in the construction industry, and is listed as looking for a job on LinkedIn. I don't blame him for looking to switch industries, but ISD also has great influence when consulting construction companies. In fact, we are currently consulting one of the top 5 largest construction companies in the USA. Here is the e-mail that ISD sent the man whom we are speaking of:
"I am with ISD, and am a business consultant, with emphasis areas in telecom, call centers, and medical clinics.
However, I do consult nearly every kind of business. You will find that I can be a great referral source with a database of over 15,000 businesses, and growing. I talk to about 50 new businesses a day of varying kinds, and would be happy to talk to you about referring business back and forth if you would be interested. We do provide referrals in return to you immediately with equal quality, size, and kind. You are welcome to review my profile here if you would like, or visit my website at http://www.isdconsulting.biz/.
Here is construction CFO's response to this e-mail.
"That will work for you for awhile, but then people will see right through you and that will leave you flat on your face. I don't operate in a selfish world like you and in my Christian world it's not about giving expecting more in return. It's about helping others without any expectations of any return must less expecting something worth more than what I gave them. I am very well connected and know alot of inflential people, but will not let them be used. I feel sorry for you and will be praying for you."
Whew! So, whether New Age/Hindu/Buddhist Karma, Christian, or whatever the belief system regarding referral generation, the 80% that don't want to give referrals are very outspoken in their justification of why they don't have to give referrals. But no matter your belief or creed, I am sure everyone will agree that finding the 20% that actually do give referrals is extremely refreshing when compared to the the 80% that twist legitimiate world views in complex ways to support their reasons for not giving referrals.
So, finally, to make a play on Monte-Python's classic words...win-lose is "Right Out". While win-win long term relationships that are based on a two-way street of referrals being given to each other, is "Right In."
Good luck everyone in creating long term win-win networking efforts. :)
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So it seem that so many of the people you come across have the belief that you should give without the expectation of a return, how many of them followed their own advice and gave you referrals without expecting something in return?
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